Terror on the High Seas
by Melancholy-Girl
Summary: Relena invites all five Gundam pilots and her brother on a two week voyage. What she thought was going to be relaxing and fun, turns out to be a huge mess! (Update: Chapter 7 added, due to popular demand. ^_^ Please R&R!)
1. Previews of Things to Come

^_^ I guess I should start with the warning. This fic contains yaoi (1x2, 3x4 and possible other stuff if I feel like it) and some language. If you don't like either of those, don't bother reading it and/or flaming me. Oh and it obviously the characters are probably a bit ooc. This fic is not in sync with the series or the movie. 

I also don't own, or will ever own, Gundam Wing and the associated characters. Though that could be fun. ^_~ In any case read on if you want, and beware, I haven't written in ages! Don't forget to review to let me know if I should write more! Thanks.

-Kate

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Terror on the High Seas : Chapter One: Preview of Things to Come

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Duo's brilliant violet eyes stared at the rough waters below him. His upper body lay hanging over the edge of a very large, and fancy, yacht; the Relena 1. Behind him Heero stood leaning against the entry to the lower level, reading a copy of Readers Digest. His other hand was occupied with a cup of coffee, not your normal cruise drink. Wufei emerged from the entry next to Heero just as Duo's stomach gave out. He retched over the side of the boat quite noisily. Wufei's eyes grew wide and a trickle of blood slipped from his nostril as he stood there. 

"Ah, yuck!" Wufei shuddered. "That boy can't handle the sea's well can he?" He asked while grimacing. 

"That's why I don't have a water bed anymore Wu man." Heero snickered. He winked at Wufei before crossing in front of him to enter the cabin below. He just had to have a fresh cup of coffee after that. Wufei couldn't do much more than stand there staring at Duo who was now facing him. Duo's skin looked paler than the stark white color of the boat, though it did have a tinge of green to it. The braided boy slid down the side of the boat, his hand clenching his stomach.

"Uh, you better now Maxwell?" Wufei questioned. Duo's cheeks bulged as his eyes grew wide. He stood up and spun around to take his place hanging off the side of the ship once more. "I take that as a no.." A bit more blood dripped from his nostril as Wufei escaped back down to the lower decks. He thought it would be safer down there, boy was he in for a shock.

Quatre strolled around from the bow of the ship, hands clasped behind his back. He was humming an upbeat tune as he walked, thoughts on his bishonen Trowa. Quatre was obviously oblivious to Duo's situation as he skipped up a set of stairs that lead to the main deck and control room. His blue eyes were brilliant as he entered the control room. He quickly set them to gaze at Trowa's lower half.

"So captain how are you doing?" Quatre nudged Trowa's side, a bit of a blush plastering his face as he moved his eye's from Trowa's rump to his eyes.

"Just fine matey, arggggggggggggh." Trowa replied with a sort of piratishy tone to his voice. Quatre stared at him for a moment then burst out in a loud laughter.

"Did you just say argh!?!?" Quatre wrapped his arms around Trowa. Though he snuggled into Trowa his eyes kept vigil over Trowa's neck. He was in a very frisky mood today, it had to be the roll of the sea. Trowa looked down to the blonde boy holding onto him. He wrapped his arms around Quat's shoulders and smiled.

"See something you like?" Trowa questioned the somewhat drooling boy. Quatre shook his head up and down licking his lips.

"Yes.." Almost a whisper slipped from Quatre. Trowa only smiled as he motioned his head to the side, exposing a little more neck than usual. Quatre's eyes instantly light at the sight.

"Dig in.." Trowa suggested wiggling his brows. 

"Yippee!!" Quatre squealed with joy.

Duo stood up once more, steadying himself. He burped with a hand over his mouth. The sea really didn't like the poor thing. Blinking a few times he rested his hands onto the rail, leaning back just a tad. Milliardo sat a few feet from Duo in a tiki chair. He was dressed quite uncharacteristically for himself. He wore khaki shorts, flip flops, and a bright orange/pink Hawaiian shirt, not to mention the coconut cup in his right hand and an issue of 'House and Garden' in his other. Duo just store at the tall man, wondering what the hell he had been smoking. Milliardo already had his head turned towards Duo, one blonde brow raised above his dark shades. 

"What? Did you see my sister naked or something?" He chirped. Duo's eyes grew wide again, but his cheeks weren't bulged.

"Are you trying to make me puke again, Blondey?!" Duo sounded genuinely panicked, not to mention angered.. Huffing he crossed his arms along his chest. Milliardo just stared at Duo for a minute before he shrugged and went back to his reading.

"Bleh.. damn sea sickness. Oh well I can be strong! I can be manly!!" Duo cheered himself on. Heero had just reappeared from below with a new cup of java. His eyes had been studying the pages before him, but they now moved to eye Duo.

"But Duo you're the women..." He interjected with a Cheshire smile. Duo's jaw just about hit the floor as he heard Heero's comment. Heero didn't give him time to respond; he had returned back below deck again in the hopes Duo would follow him. '_Eh never thought he'd say somethin like that. Heheh man I have changed him' _Duo thought to himself. Shrugging it off he decided he might as well try and go below for some much needed sustenance, or revenge, either way was good for him. Remembering he needed his cap from the main deck, he moved off in that direction first. 

As soon as Duo came to the flight of stairs he heard a soft sucking sound. Both of his brows moved up his features as he spotted Trowa and Quatre in the control room. Quatre was practically sucking Trowa's neck off. Besides sucking on his neck like a lollipop, Quatre's small hands were gripped tightly on Trowa's rear end. Just then Duo got an idea. He cleared his throat briefly with a small chuckle. 

"ARGGGGGGGHHHH!! BLOWWWWWWWWWWW THE MAN DOWWWN MATEEEEEEEY!!!" He bellowed. Quatre instantly shrieked and dropped his grasp, and lips, from Trowa. His face turned a lovely shade of crimson as he stood there staring at Duo with wild eyes.

"DAMN YOU DUO!!" Quatre yelled. 

Trowa was already doubled over in laughter, clutching his stomach as he did. Quatre grew even more angry. He grabbed Duo's dark cap from off the console and chucked it at him. "You'll pay for that Shinigami!" 

"Ohhh, I'm so scared! What are you going to do? Suck my face off?" Duo burst out laughing about as hard as Trowa. Quatre's eye twitched as he smacked Trowa on the shoulder. Trowa stood up in surprise, but he couldn't help but continue snickering. With a huff Quatre stormed down the stairs and off towards the bow, where he had been before. Trowa shook his head at Duo before returning to his duty as 'captain'. With his hat back in his possession Duo headed off to torture Heero below deck, and whoever else was down there.

Relena had invited the five Gundam pilots, along with her brother Milliardo, his friend Treize and his girlfriend Lucrezia, for a nice, leisurely cruise. Obviously she didn't know this group as well as she thought. She was in for two weeks of pure terror, and only an hour of it was behind them.

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Officially continued due to lack of sleep and good reviews. ^_^ Thank you! Keep the reviews comin! 


	2. The Logic of Relena

Dun, dun, dunnn.... Time for chapter two (three is coming very soon)! Warning for this chapter: Relena bashing (since she's evil), scary eyebrow girl imagery (a.k.a. Dorothy) and other random silliness. By the way, oocness prevails. Enjoy! 

Still don't own Gundam Wing or its characters, but would like to some day as to be able to do horrible thin.. never mind. Read on! Don't forget to review. ^_^

-Kate

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Chapter Two : The Logic of Relena

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Wufei was idly making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when Heero entered below deck, again. Wufei's brow rose as he noticed the state of Heero's face. It was very out of place for him; he was blushing. Not wanting to lose his lunch before it even made it to his stomach, Wufei didn't bother asking the other pilot what was up. He simply took his sandwich and sat himself down on a large bench behind a table. Heero too took his place on the bench, but before he could get comfortable Relena came running from down the hall (which ultimately lead to everyone's bedrooms) screaming his name.

"Heero!! There you are!!" She squeaked. Obviously Relena was still in happy land when it came to the fact Heero and Duo were a couple; she'd never admit it to herself. This time Wufei was the one that snickered as a very large sweat drop formed on Heero's temple. "I've been looking all over this ship for you!"

"Uh, why?" Heero didn't need to ask that question, he already knew. He was just scared to hear it out of Relena's mouth. A giant, very dimwitted, smile formed on Relena's face.

"Cause I figured out who's going to sleep with who!" Relena's voice was in one of those annoying high pitched tones, which meant she was over excited.

"HUH?!" Wufei's eyes grew wide as he took a bite from his.. hand. He'd missed his sandwich by about two inches. "OWWWW!" Relena stared at him for a moment before looking to Heero for an explanation.

"Uhm, Relena? You've decided who's going to sleep with _WHO_? Shouldn't it be _WHERE_? Oh for the love of God let it be **where** instead of **who..**." His voice was that of fear, pure and utter terror.

"Oh, yeah.... right! Who's going to sleep _where_." A very evil, and insane mind you, laughter filled the room from Relena. She quickly stopped with a cough. That stupid grin returned as she looked to the piece of paper in her hand. 

Meanwhile, on deck, Duo came happily back around the corner heading towards the other flight of stairs to below deck. He was blissfully unaware Quatre was close behind him; beat red and breathing like Satan. As Duo came to the corner, quite close to where he had retched his guts not too long ago, he felt like doing it again. Where Milliardo sat before now sat Treize. This wouldn't have disturbed Duo, saving the fact Treize was creepy, if he had some clothing on. Duo's eyes grew wider than he thought physically possible as he eyed the naked man. Instead of getting a reaction of '_OoOoOO he's tasty_' his body gave him more a reaction of '_Ewww, he's related to EYEBROW GIRL!_' An image of a naked Dorothy was now permanently embedded into his brain. 

Much mental retching ensued. 

Quatre didn't notice Treize like Duo had, he was too focused on killing the poor Shinigami. His small hands were clutched around a rather large beach ball, which he thought would some how bring death to Duo, and his eyes were locked onto Duo's braid. Just as he got close to Duo the loud speaker went off, in his ear. He shrieked like a girl and fell over anime style. Duo jumped about four feet off the ground, grabbing onto the nearest object, which happened to be Milliardo coming around the corner. Zechs was just as shocked by the sound as Duo, so they clung onto each other like lost lovers.

"THIS IS RELENA! I want everyone to **come**." Her voice was even worse in loud decibels.

Milliardo looked to Duo with a brow raised. Duo looked to Milliardo with a brow raised. Treize, now in shorts mind you, looked to the loud speaker with a brow raised. Must I say what Quatre did? Everyone wasn't sure if they had heard the loud speaker right, it sounded awfully dirty. In the background they could hear Heero muttering something to Relena and her going 'Uh huh, oh.. OH!' Then she, unfortunately, yelled back into the loud speaker. 

"I mean, I want everyone to come below dick! Uh, I mean deck!" Her voice trailed off and there was a loud click. Obviously Relena was a few marbles short, to put it nicely, of a full bag and what marbles she did have were focused on a nice romp in the hay with Heero. 

Once Zechs processed the information given to him, slower than normal, he dropped Duo onto the deck and turned around to head below. Duo sat there startled, wondering what awful things Relena might to do Heero if he didn't get down there quickly, and Quatre scampered off to get Trowa before Duo figured out his 'Death by Beach Ball' plan. Treize, who whenever Duo looked at, from this point on and saw a naked Dorothy with wiggling eyebrows, wandered over to help the violet eyed boy off the ground. He stopped once he noticed Duo's face looked like he had just sniffed the gaseous workings of an elderly yak. Duo's eye twitched at speeds to which the fastest mobile suit in all of the Earth Sphere wouldn't be able to keep up with. But none the less he stood and quickly, mind you quick doesn't even come close to how fast Duo moved, took off down the stairs. Treize shrugged and followed.

Quatre grabbed Trowa, who was doubled over in a laughing fit again (I guess years of not laughing will do that to ya, huh?), and drug him to below deck. Trowa's eyes were watering as he followed his koi. 

"She said dick! AHAHAHHAHA!!" Trowa sounded like he had reverted to the ways of Duo; easily amused. Quatre just glared at Trowa as they came down below deck, spying everyone that was on the cruise. Lucrezia had graced everyone with her presence, she had been hiding from Relena who wouldn't leave her alone, Milliardo stood next to her scratching his head, Relena was practically crawling over and drooling on Heero, Heero looked as if he were in hell, Wufei's nose was spurting blood as he grimaced, and Duo stood staring at Treize with that same look of disgust. Quatre couldn't help but snicker. 

"All right! We're all here, I think." Relena interjected into the mass of mumbling, and mortified, people. "Now then, I have our bunk assignments!" A resounding 'Whoop de do' could be heard from the mass. She glared. They recoiled in fear. She spoke again. 

"Duo will be room number 2! Trowa you're 3, Quatre's 4 (Let's play.. spot the trend!) and Wufei is 5!" All four boys stared at Relena, wondering how long it took her to figure out those assignments. 

Much silence and twitching of eyeballs ensued.

"Milliardo you'll be in 15 and Treize will be in 14! Lucrezia will be in my cabin, for company of course, and Heero, you'll be right next door in 19! (News flash; the trend just met its death)" She finished by flashing that ever so wonderful smile of hers. 

Much silence ensued. 

It took about 10 minutes for everyone to stare at Relena and think to themselves how she must have been dropped on her head at birth; over and over again. The logic in her planning was lost to them since there was 20 rooms and they somehow got split up to 2, 3, 4, 5, 14, 15, 19, and 20. Made things just as confusing as ever. "Don't just stand there! Get your stuff from up top!" 

Much rushing for the exit and panic ensued.

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Continue on to chapter three, if you dare ^_~ Muahahahahah! *ahem***** Don't forget to review!


	3. Sunsets, Kittens, and Treize

At some point I'm going to get tired of having to a warning, but alas I must; There is yaoi (same as before, 1x2, 3x4 and possibly other stuff), violence, behavioral issues.. oocness... excreta, in this chapter ^_^ 

And like the last two chapters.. I don't own Gundam Wing, Bandai and Sunrise do (those evil bastards..)

And now on with the chaos!

-Kate

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Chapter Three : Sunsets, Kittens, and Treize

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The rush up the stairs to exit below deck was maddening. Noin and Zechs had made it to the top step when Wufei and Heero suddenly tried to push their way past, causing the other two forms to smash together at an alarmingly high pressure. Trowa bolted at the same time as Treize which made the plug in the stair well even worse, and Duo was close behind, the only one of the whole bunch who decided to take it slowly for safeties sake.

Quatre on the other hand stood in front of the kitchenette with a very sinister grin on his lips. He was slowly devising his revenge against Duo; something the poor bastard would **_never_** forget. His wide eyes sparkled as he began to laugh insanely (picture Doctor Evil if you will). Relena stood next to the blonde boy with a bewildered look on her face. She, for one, didn't understand why everyone was scrambling to get up the stairs so fast, and also couldn't figure out why Quatre looked like he had just sold his soul to the devil for a box of Poky. Then again, Relena wasn't too good at understanding most things.

As the last figure disappeared to the top deck, Duo with that yak look plastered on his face again since Treize's ass was at his eye level, Relena turned her attention back to Quatre. She swore his head swiveled around 360 degrees like the girl in the Exorcist, the movie that scarred her for life and possibly diminished her brain cell count, had. Thankfully for the overly expensive Oriental rug below them, no pea soup was expelled. 

With a brow cocked and a look of fear on her face, Relena migrated off to the left towards her over sized suite. Quatre on the other hand continued to laugh until he couldn't breath anymore. He stopped quickly and adjusted his shirt; he didn't want to look unkempt of course. He then made his way up the stair well a good five feet behind his impending victim. 

Heero and Wufei, successfully, were the first two to make it back on deck. Zechs and Noin followed, practically flung from the stairwell, with Trowa and Treize close behind. Duo meandered his way up the last stair, shaking off that horrible image of eyebrow girl, and let out a long sigh. The afternoon had faded into dusk while they were below deck. The sun was becoming low and the atmosphere took on an eerie light. Duo had an awful feeling he was going to regret going to sleep when the time came.

Trowa stopped moving towards the side of the ship once he noticed Quatre was not by his side. His brow popped up as he looked around for his blonde lover. The closest person near him was Treize, who was fiddling with Zechs' paper umbrella while a look of longing played across his features. Trowa couldn't help but notice the expression on Treize's face as he ventured over next to him

"Uh, Treize?" Trowa questioned. Treize quickly dropped the umbrella and brought a cheery, not to mention cheesy, grin to his face.

"Yes Trowa?" He chirped. Trowa idly stared at the man in front of him for a moment. Treize became very uncomfortable, suspecting that Trowa had caught him in the act. His expression made it obvious; he looked like an overly constipated monkey.

"Have you seen Quatre?" Trowa asked. Treize's expression faded into relief; much like that same constipated monkey on ex-lax. 

"Yeah. He didn't rush up the stairs like the rest of us, so I'm assuming he's still down there. Otherwise he'd be up here with us and you wouldn't be asking me this question and so on and so forth." A long winded answer as per usual. Trowa mentally noted not to ask Treize anything above 'How's the weather?' from now on. Though even that could turn into a ten minute conversation with the man; Trowa suspected he would become a politician some day (har, har.) The two continued to stare at each other for a moment until Trowa noticed Quatre emerging from below. Concern formed on his face as he noticed the wiry grin plastered on blue eyed pilot.

"There you are Quat!" Trowa rushed over to him, wrapping his arms tightly around his body. Quatre's features faded to normal as he returned the embrace. "I love you little one." 

"I love you too" Quatre replied. The two locked lips passionately as they embraced. Treize was still close by, watching the two love birds. A large tear formed in one eye and he began to sniff. 

Duo had met up with Heero at the stern of the ship. Unlike normal, like any of this is normal, Heero was smiling brightly as he watched the sun set. Duo looked to him with a grin before he planted a wet one on Heero's cheek. Heero laughed, more like giggled, and wrapped his arm around the braided boys shoulder.

"You baka, always ruining a romantic moment." Heero chuckled. Duo huffed, with that same grin of course, before he leant his head onto Heero's shoulder. "But I still love you." 

"I love you too, my perfect solider." Duo replied while kissing on Heero's neck.

Down the way, on the left side of the boat, sat Zechs and Noin. He had returned to his tiki chair, which he had no idea had been spoiled by Treize's nakedness, with Lucrezia perched in his lap. Her arms were wrapped around his neck as they too stared off into the sun set (::sappy meter goes through roof::). Zechs' let out a long sigh as he rubbed Noin's bare thigh. '_Hot pants... man's greatest invention_' he mused. 

"Noin?" He whispered.

"Yes Zechs?" She replied, all quite like as well. 

"I love you, Lucrezia." He smiled proudly as he kissed her cheek. 

"I love you too, Milliardo." She smiled just as wide as she rubbed the side of his neck. The two looked back to the sunset with love filled (::puke::) eyes. 

All the while Treize, who stood in the midst of the three couples, began to tear up more. Another sniff was produced, then another. 

"Its so beautiful I'm jealous!" Finally he broke out in a pathetic wail, tears pouring from both eyes like giant waterfalls. 

Simultaneously Trowa and Quatre, sucking each other's faces off of course, Duo and Heero, and Zechs and Noin turned around to see what the sound was. They caught the sight of Treize running off towards the bow of the ship, wailing like a banshee, where Wufei had stationed his ever so solitary self. Large sweat drops formed on all six observers. 

Wufei had been enjoying his newest katana, a bribe from Relena to come on the cruise, when a figure came screaming by him to the very front of the boat. His brow quirked up as he noticed the wailing form of a half naked Treize. Unlike Duo the visage of Treize reacted nicely to Wufei's body, without much regard to his poor mind, as he stared at the man's back. '_INJUSTICE! Another man should not make me feel all warm and fuzzy like a newborn kitten. OH GOD! I just compared myself to a cute, furry animal! Nataku forgive me.._' 

Wufei snapped back to reality as he noticed Treize had stopped wailing. Treize had switched moods faster than a pregnant women; he was now calm. Wufei just continued to stare at Treize's back as he attempted to mentally beat away the feelings of 'fuzziness'. 

Treize couldn't help but notice he was being watched. Slowly he swiveled his upper body around to eye whomever was invading his personal bubble with their eyes. He was surprised to see it was Wufei, katana in hand and eyes blank as ever. He was even more surprised to see Wufei rubbing his blade with a cloth in an awfully naughty way. Treize stared at Wufei. Wufei stared at Treize. Treize continued to stare at Wufei. Wufei continued to stare at Treize. You can just assume what they did for the next hour.

Back at the opposite end of the boat still stood Heero and Duo. Treize's outburst hadn't phased the two of them much, they still held each other as they watched the sun dip below the ocean. The darkness was a bit disconcerting to Pagan, who was stationed in the control room watching everything that had gone on much to his own amusement, so he flipped on the deck lights. Little palm tree lights criss crossed above everyone's heads and white lights were periodically spaced along the sides of the ship. How fun, how clever... how un-Relena like. 

Since Trowa had decided to check on Wufei, to make sure he hadn't drowned in Treize's 'waterfalls', Quatre decided to go back down below and see if his plan would work. Much to his happiness, he found that all twenty doors were not adorned with numbers. Not too surprising since it wasn't a cruise ship. Instead Relena had placed little tags on each of the doors. The hall was very wide and to the right and the left there were nine doors (massive, massive yacht by the way). At the end was the master suite, number 20 as Quatre recalled, and the 19th room. Quatre figured people weren't going to memorize that Relena's room was number 20 and he assumed by the time everyone went to bed they'd be too tired to check and see if the placement of the doors was right. As before Quatre began to laugh evilly; he had that Zero look in his eyes. He stopped as to not catch anyone's attention. Quickly he ran down the hall, systematically swapping name cards from the doors. Real original Quatre. His plan wasn't unique, but it was one that **always** worked. '_Soon...'_ he thought '_Soon they will all be blissfully tired and they will all go to their rooms. Then.. then the **true** chaos will begin! MUAHAHAHAHAHAH! *ahem*'_

It was eight o'clock when Quatre emerged from below. He peered out to see everyone serving themselves dinner and thanking Pagan. A renewed look of happiness fell on Quatre as he walked towards the five Gundam pilots and company. He knew in a few hours his lovely plan would go into affect and much chaos would ensue, but he was blissfully unaware as to how much chaos would **really** take place.

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Continued in Chapters Four and Five. 

Don't forget to review! ^_~ Don't be shy, you know you wanna!


	4. Table Manners

::mumbles:: Sorry about the horrible delay in updates. A few things came up and I was unable to write (doesn't help that my cursed writers block returned) but now I'm back in the game. So onward and upward!

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Warning: Yaoi, oocness, massive bouts of silliness and utter randomness, so on and so forth. 

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Disclaimer: Don't own it, would like to, but never will. Blargh, blargh, blargh. ^_^

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Plead: Reviews! 

-Kate

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Chapter Four ; Table Manners

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Zechs was the first to notice the somewhat disturbing change in personality of the members of the cruise. All of the occupants of the boat had hand picked the foods that fit them best then moseyed their way over to an abnormally large table that Pagan had set up. Pagan truly was the God of butlers. Not only could he cook, clean, and do many house hold chores. He could also pilot airplanes, helicopters, space transports, drive a very hideous pink limousine, and even take apart a shotgun in 5.10 seconds. What more could a person want? 

The seating around the table wasn't anything out of the ordinary, for this crew of people at least. The table was one of those horribly overdone oak numbers. God only knows how it was moved on board. Of course it was rectangle in shape and draped with the best linens possible. Though those poor linens were presently being covered in various messes of food and drink. At the head of the table sat Treize, who was feeling a tad bit rejected by everyone else. To the left of him was Trowa who sat next to his beloved koi. Next to Quatre sat Relena, who still eyed the small blonde pilot with much worry. Directly across the table from Treize sat Wufei. To his right sat a very giddy and excited Heero. He was presently being molested under the table by Duo who sat, of course, next to him. Noin, who happened to notice the slight fidgeting under the linen table cloth, sat in between Duo and Zechs. She, just like Duo, had a very spacious grin plastered on her features. She was presently sliding her bare foot up and down what she thought was Zechs' leg. Zechs was the only one at the table that seemed somewhat composed. He was too busy observing everyone else to bother adding his two cents to the conversations flying through the air.

The way people acted when out of their niche was absolutely amazing. Everyone, well almost everyone, seemed to be the complete opposite of their usual personalities. Zechs moved his cerulean eyes from person to person to observe how they were acting on this tepid night. 

The first person he came to was Treize. He seemed to be completely silent for once. Not the norm for this very, very talkative young man. His eyes were plastered onto the Chinese pilot across the table from him. His cheeks were visibly flushed and his upper set of teeth were digging into his lower lip. Zechs could only assume what was running through his head.

Next was Trowa who was laughing and talking up a storm. Zechs concluded that Trowa must have ingested some sort of toxic substance. His conversations with the others were pulled completely out of no where. Though it caused much amusement to the others, it bewildered Zechs. 

Quatre's mannerisms also disturbed Zechs. He seemed much too quiet. He sat next to Trowa with his eyes glued on Duo. Those bright Mediterranean blue eyes were as devious as the smile he wore. Zechs figured that more than likely he was thinking dirty thoughts of what he would do to Trowa once they retired. Zechs hoped with all of his being that he would not find out he was right later.

Next to be spotted was Relena. She was the only one out of the entire bunch that seemed to be somewhat normal. She was presently staring at Heero with an impassioned look. Her delicate hands seemed to find the food on her plate and place it into her dainty mouth without the need of her eyes for guidance. Those eyes were much too busy trying to burn a hole into Heero's skull to bother with anything else. Very, very disconcerting to say the least.

As Zechs came to Wufei he couldn't help but picture a giant ripping apart a small mortal. In reality he was growling and grunting as he tore the head off some poor, defenseless lobster. Quite an amazing sight really. 

Zechs didn't have to look at Heero to know what he was doing. The stench of giddiness wafted on the light breeze from his direction. Heero was rouged like no other, his eyes bright and startled. His fork and knife were tightly gripped in each hand as if he were trying to break them in half. Zechs didn't even want to fathom what Duo was doing to the poor Japanese boy under the table. 

That brings us to the next target of observation. Duo. He was probably the most amusing of the bunch. The look on his face was that of absolute joy and excitement. Those brilliant violet hues of his were dancing around the table as he tortured his counterpart. He was obviously trying to look as if he were engrossed in Trowa's discussion with Relena on the concepts of alternate realities. His wide grin told another story. The Cheshire Cat would have been put to shame.

Now Zechs came to the last person at the table; Noin. She was possibly the most puzzling person of the group. For some reason she wore a smirk similar to that of Duo's; malevolent and mischievous. What was more, it seemed to be directed straight at Zechs. He couldn't quite figure out why she had that expression on her face, since all she was doing was picking apart a small crab on her plate. Maybe she too had ingested some sort of toxic substance. He was a tad bit unnerved to say the least. 

Zechs stared at Noin. Noin stared back at Zechs. Zechs began to sweat drop. Noin began to giggle like Satan. Zechs just about died of fright. 

Trowa had begun to notice the silent state of the man across from him; Milliardo. A feral smile pulled its away across his features as he stopped his conversation with Duo on the concepts of out of characterness. 

"Oh, Zechs?" He cooed. Zechs snapped his head from Noin to Trowa.

"What?" He was actually pleased he didn't have to look at the demoniac aspect of Noin's countenance any longer. 

"Do you agree with Duo or myself on this matter?" Trowa questioned matter of factly. He truly loved torturing poor Milliardo when he had the chance. Revenge is such a bitch.

"Uh. Duo?" Zechs brow rose as the entire table stopped what they were doing to stare at him. He wasn't sure what he had agreed on, but he now made the assumption it wasn't exactly something good. "What?" 

Relena was the first to bust out laughing. Then came Quatre, Noin, Wufei and Duo. Even Heero bent over tittering like a little school girl. Trowa waited. He now knew for certain that Milliardo hadn't listened a word they were saying. If he had he would have known Duo had been debating whether or not it's possible to shove your head up your own ass. Fascinating what the great Shinigami comes up with.

"So do you think its possible?" Trowa was going to drag this on as long as he could. The rest of the table instantly stopped their sniggering. They all looked at Zechs intently.

"Yes..?" Zechs was very unsure of what to say. Yes usually was the right answer, but he had a sick feeling it wasn't in this case. Everyone's eyes widened as their brows rose on their foreheads. Even Treize was becoming amused. He decided to chime in.

"I believe he's proving it to us right now my dear friends." Treize bounced his brows at Zechs before setting his hands behind his head. 

All was silent for at least five minutes. Most uncomfortable for the poor Peacecraft heir. 

Then it happened, everyone started to laugh so hard they looked like they were dying. Duo slammed his head down on the table smack dab into his pile of garlic mashed potatoes, Relena looked to her brother with utter mirth as she produced a few short snorts, Wufei was the only one in the group that was only chuckling. He found it amusing, but not **that** amusing. Trowa was laughing low in his throat as he smiled to Milliardo. Triumph was his. Quatre laughed so hard he looked like he had been bawling for hours. Noin had covered her mouth in hopes that she would not snort as loud as Relena had. And Heero began to laugh so hard he tipped his chair. He landed flat on his back hard enough to knock the wind out of himself. It only caused more laughter to arise from the group and himself. Needless to say, Zechs had made quite the ass of himself. He wasn't sure how though, but he wasn't going to bother to ask. It would only add to the situation.

After about twenty minutes of painful laughter, it started to die down. Everyone's faces were streaked with tears and their throats were dry. Composure, if that is even what you can call it, returned to the mass. Duo removed the splotch of potato from his forehead, Relena drank an entire glass of water in one gulp, Trowa set his hands against his chin, Wufei began tearing apart what was left of his lobster, Heero put his chair up right and sat down as if nothing had happened, Noin too drank a very large amount of water, Quatre simply smiled while watching everyone else, and Treize threw his feet up onto the table. Not exactly the most polite thing to do. But who was being polite? At last someone decided to speak. It was completely out of right field, but that was probably a good thing at this point.

"Soooo.. what should we do now?" Quatre chirped. He wanted to try and ease the pain for Milliardo the best he could.

"I need a drink." Zechs muttered. He was trying to be quiet about it, but the word 'drink' seemed to jump right out and smack Duo in the face. His eyes instantly lit up as he jumped from his chair.

"I know! Let's play some games!" Duo practically exploded with excitement. Everyone sat still for a moment just staring at him. It was a well known fact that Duo was very good at thinking up games. They were very popular among his comrades, even if they did induce bouts of drunkenness and stupidity. 

"Sounds good to me." Treize said intrigued. He had never actually participated in any of Duo's charades, but he had heard many hilarious stories surrounding the events they caused. 

Everyone nodded their heads in agreement and made off for the lower deck. There they all took their places in a grand parlor area that was stationed next to the kitchenette/dining room. This section was as lavish as any Roman Villa. It had marble floors, giant oriental rugs that covered the hard floor to protect ones head if one tripped, redwood furniture, couches, love seats, two enormous chairs, a big screen TV that made most cinema screens look small, and a full service bar. Windows that looked out to the ocean cast an eerie light on everything and everyone. An incredibly large leather couch took up a good portion of the wall next to the windows. It was L shaped and perfect for a abundant group of people to occupy. They sat in what was becoming a very normal pattern for them. This time it formed a circle. On the couch sat Treize, Trowa, Quatre, Relena, and Heero, much to his chagrin. Instead of dragging over the chairs or love seats, the other four sat on the floor. They sat in the order of Duo, Zechs, Noin, and Wufei. Duo of course faced Heero while Wufei on the opposite end faced Treize (1). Once everyone was comfortable, they waited for Duo to think something up. Once he did his face lit up like a kid in a candy store.

"Let the games begin!" 

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Hope that wasn't too long. Chapter five is up and ready. Don't forget to review. Sorry again for the delay! ^_^

(1) If you didn't catch that last order of or people. It goes clockwise from: Treize, Trowa, Quatre, Relena, Heero, Duo, Zechs, Noin, and Wufei. Thought I might as well explain that.


	5. Ground Rules

Same as always.

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Warning: Yaoi, ooc, language, some violence, other random crap. 

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Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing or the characters. 

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Plead: Reviews! 

-Kate

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Chapter Four ; Ground Rules

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"Let the games begin!" Duo shouted in triumph with one arm raised above his head. The occupants of the room stared blankly at him for a few moments.

"Uh, Duo? What games?" Wufei questioned. 

Duo dropped his arm back to his side and moved to speak, but stopped. It hadn't dawned on him that he didn't tell everyone what he wanted to play.

"Oh, it would help if I told you huh?" He flashed an innocent grin. Everyone smirked and nodded. "Well, I was thinking we could play a good ol' game that everyone always loves, spin the bottle. Then we could play some poker, either strip or normal doesn't matter, and we could end the night on a high note with some sort of drinking game. How's that sound?" 

Silence abound. Each person shot each other a look, seeking approval before they spoke up. Heero was the first to say anything. He was presently being eyed by everyone else in the room. He felt like his soul was being pierced from all angles, not the greatest sensation in the world.

"Even though you're first two suggestions aren't all that unique, actually they're pretty cliché, they still sound quite fun." Heero stated. "But I have to worry about what drinking game you have in mind." 

Zechs looked to Heero for a second before he decided to speak. The normally bronzed tone to his flesh turned very pallid.

"I agree with Heero. The first two games sound great, cliché, still great though. But last time we played a drinking game I ended up in Wufei's car with no clothes on and a baby blanket that I had never seen before wrapped around me. Not to mention Noin had a temporary tattoo on her butt that read 'To Infinity and Beyond!' , Quatre dyed Trowa's hair neon pink, Wufei thought he was a cat and started to lick himself clean, and Heero ended up running out to the pool butt naked screaming something about monkeys flying out of your ass." 

Treize's eyes lit up as he listened to Milliardo, Heero blushed, Wufei looked like he was about to vomit on himself, Quatre giggled, Trowa glared, Noin muttered, and Relena looked at everyone as if they were crazy. She, just as Treize, had never taken part in one of Duo's famous drinking games, and right now she was very glad for that fact.

"Huh, that explains why Trowa wore a hat for two weeks huh?" Relena smirked.

"Hn." Trowa seemed to have momentarily reverted to his quiet self. The memories of having that horrid color in his hair for nearly three weeks was quite traumatizing. Thankfully Quatre had used a wash out dye that was left over from the previous Halloween. 

Duo stood with a toothy smile. He was always so proud of the things that happened during his games. 

"So are we going to play or not?" He questioned. 

Once again everyone looked at each other with hesitation before agreeing on anything. They all knew that they would be bored out of their skulls if they didn't do something soon. Even if it meant waking up in weird positions with odd sayings scrawled on their backsides. In the end they all nodded and muttered 'hn' quietly. It was like the room was suddenly full of Heero clones. 

Duo continued to hold his ground while resting his hands on his hips. He was waiting intently for them to take action and suggest which game to play first. Once again, unknown to himself, everyone else was waiting for **him** to make the first move.

"Duo?" Zechs piped in.

"What?" He replied.

"Um, what are we playing first?" 

"Uh, I was waiting for your suggestions." Duo replied.. again.

"I see. Well personally I think we should start off with poker, then move onto the drinking game, then do spin the bottle. Seems like the logical course of action." Zechs finished before smiling widely at everyone else.

His suggestion was, of course, logical. Being that the poker game would be the most innocent game out of the three, it was the best to start with. Since spin the bottle could cause conflicts between the group of nine, Zechs figured that the drinking game would loosen nerves enough to allow them to enjoy the game fully. Boy was he under estimating how loose everyone would become.

They all agreed that they would play all three games in the order Milliardo had suggested. Everyone was given a task to complete to get the parlor, and themselves, ready for a long night of amusement The coffee table in the room was the perfect size to play on, but it was a bit too low to the ground. Heero and Milliardo, since they were the strongest of the bunch, were recruited to move it up against the TV and move in the round table from the kitchenette. Relena and Noin had disappeared into the walk in pantry to scour for snacks and a set of fold out chairs. Trowa was sent off to grab cups and some non-alcoholic beverages from the kitchenette. Treize and Wufei were sent up deck to grab the already soiled linen from the dining table to protect the somewhat expensive kitchen table. Duo had disappeared up deck as well to try and find Pagan. He knew Pagan would be able to show him where the poker chips and playing cards were. 

Quatre held the task of lighting a fire in the very small fireplace against the wall in the corner. The group had figured it would keep whoever had to strip down to their skivvies warm enough to not complain or chicken out. Quatre sat staring into the flames with a look of lust in his eyes. For once he was not lusting for Trowa, he was lusting for the time when everyone would be delightfully drunk and giddy. When they would leave one by one to their rooms to retire for the night. They would then sneak out one by one to indulge themselves with each other. It would be perfect. Then, it hit him. Quatre found a giant flaw in his plans. He had already moved the cards meaning that everyone would in fact go to the wrong room, but it wouldn't matter because they would know where everyone was supposed to be. Quatre slapped his forehead as he dropped a piece of kindling into the now raging fire. He should have swapped the cards **after** everyone had gone to bed. The coupling between the nine may have been obvious, but Quatre knew no one wanted to admit what they did with each other. He muttered to himself before his koi came up behind him to wrap his arms tightly around the blonde pilot. '_I'll have to sneak out before everyone else and swap the cards. Somehow I have to be the last one to go to bed!'_. Easier said than done. Quatre was a light weight by heart. Duo always took advantage of this by devising a game that would get the poor Arabian drunk before the rest of the gang.

When everyone had completed their tasks, they returned to the parlor. Trowa had found substantially sized cups and a variety of sodas for everyone, Relena and Noin had brought out a wide variety of snack foods, Treize and Wufei returned with the table cloth, Milliardo and Heero had of course moved the table over to the couch, Quatre got a fire the size of Hades going, and Duo returned with a mint condition set of poker chips and playing cards. Relena set out bowls of the food she had retrieved from the pantry. There truly was something for everybody. Pretzels, gummy bears, M&M's, skittles, mini marshmallows, graham cracks, chocolate bars, chips of all shapes and flavors, and last but not least a giant box of gold fish crackers. She knew these people's tastes a little too well. 

The table had been stationed in front of the couch, but it could only hold six of the nine people. A mad rush, much like the stairwell incident earlier in the day, took place. People stepped on each other, poked out eyes, and even dared to crawl over one another to take their rightful place on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the room. Since the love seat and the over stuffed chairs were too large to haul over to the table, the three left off the couch would have to sit on unbearably hard metal fold out chairs. In the end the ones that made it to the sanctuary of the sofa were: Duo, Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Treize, and Relena. Relena refused to sit any farther away from Heero than she had too. No one had the balls to try and stop her as she dashed for the couch. In the chairs were the last three; Wufei, Noin and Milliardo(1). Duo dubbed himself dealer since he had the most knowledge of the game. Chips were divided amongst everyone and they all decided that they were only using them for fun. This of course caused Wufei to whine about how it was pointless to use them if they weren't going to give up their money to the rightful winner. He found himself being pelted with various snack items. A gummy bear got lodged in his ear from Duo, a pretzel or two went down his shirt from Trowa, and a piece of chocolate chewed into the shape of a heart got chucked down the front of his pants from.. who knows where. Much eye twitching from the poor Chinese boy ensued.

"All right, are we playing strip poker or just boring ol' regular?" Duo was so subtle sometimes.

"Well, strip poker. But I think we should set down some rules." Wufei replied. Everyone took their turn staring him down in awe. Wufei wasn't normally one to want to strip in front of his friends. He noticed their stares and huffed. "If we're not going to play with **real** money, then I thought it might as well be best to liven it up with something." 

Everyone agreed.

"I guess I should tell you the basics behind the game, since I know a few of you haven't ever played." Duo was mostly speaking to Relena, Treize and Wufei. Every time they'd tried to play the game before Relena would always wimped out. Wufei was always too high and mighty to play strip poker. He said it was pointless. Ah, how things change when money is taken out of the picture. When it came to Treize, Duo just didn't know if he had ever played or not. "You have to remove one article of clothing when you lose. You are considered a loser when you.. well... lose. Folding doesn't count as losing so you don't have to strip then. We're going to play five card draw with jacks wild. Rules surrounding what can and can not be done will be determined by you guys."

"To make it simple and quick, I think the rules should be set by each of us writing down on thing and putting it in a hat." Once again Milliardo was the logical one of the group. 

"All right, we'll just use my cap then." Duo pulled his black cap from the back pocket of his shorts. "I'll read them off when we're done."

Everyone took their time thinking of something to write down. Once all of the small pieces of paper, which were actually parts of the napkins Noin had brought out of the closet, were placed in his cap Duo shook it around to try and make it anonymous. 

"Here it goes.." He pulled out each piece of paper one by one and read them off for Heero to write down on what he thought was a napkin, but in reality was the table cloth. "First, jewelry doesn't count as clothing. Second, if caught cheating you're automatically forced to strip two things off. Third, hair ties count. Fourth, no putting back on clothes for any excuse until the game has ended or everyone is naked. Fifth, no jewelry.. already said that. Sixth, if you run out of chips you must sacrifice your money to stay in the game. Obviously that was Wufei's remark. Seventh, argh.. we get the jewelry thing! Eighth, no peeking. Relena? What's the point if no one can peek? And lastly, no one can chicken out at any point in the game. That means you Quatre." Duo shot Quatre a glare accompanied with a small smirk. Quatre blushed a bit.

"Do you think we could change?" Treize asked. He was only in a black tank top and his khaki shorts. He wasn't really up for being naked in two turns.

"Yeah, fine. Just no jackets or multiple pairs of socks/underwear!" Duo commanded. Everyone bolted for the hallway, grabbing their luggage off of the kitchenette bench on the way, and made for their bedrooms. Quatre stayed behind. 

Once everyone had gone into their rooms, he stealthy removed the cards and replaced them on other doors. He figured they weren't going to remember exactly where they were supposed to go once they were inebriated. The Zero look returned to his eyes as he burst out in an insane laughter. He stalked into his room to put on a few more articles of clothing. His plan seemed to be back on track. '_Revenge shall be mine! MUAHAHHAHAH-oww!'_ Quatre promptly tripped over himself as he tried to pull on a pair of long johns and landed face first onto the floor.

Soon the true chaos will begin.

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This chapter was more for set up then anything else. I should be putting up the next few chapters in a couple of days. Don't forget to review. ^_^

(1) The couch is L shaped so their arrangement is interesting. Going clock wise from the shorter section of the couch to the last chair they sat: Duo, Heero, Trowa, Quatre, Treize, Relena, Wufei, Noin, Zechs. 


	6. Stripping, Bloody noses, and Treize

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Warning: Nakedness, blood rushing to various organs, language, so on and so forth. Gotta love humor fics, they've got a little bit of everything!

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Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing or the characters. 

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Plead: Reviews! 

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Extra: I want to thank all of my reviewers! It's always nice to know your stories are amusing someone. ^_^ and I wanted to thank Nelia for the idea behind the drinking game I came up with that's will be in the next chapter. Thanks!

-Kate

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Chapter Four ; Stripping, Bloody noses, and Treize

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Duo was the first to come out of his room with a gleeful look on his face. He had only added a Hawaiian shirt and a pair of socks to his attire. He flopped back onto the couch and waited for the rest to come. He was disgruntled that they had all gone to add clothes to their outfits. '_Pussies. They never have any fun unless they're drunk!'_ An idea suddenly popped into Duo's head. He was the only one in the parlor and everyone had left their drinks unattended on the table. As he moved to jump up from the couch, his plan was foiled. Quatre had come back out from his room with a look of dismay plastered on his features. Duo swore under his breath before flashing a toothy grin at his fellow pilot. Quatre flashed one back while stuffing his hands into the pockets of his fleece jacket. Duo was about to ask Quatre why he'd brought such a warm jacket on a cruise, but he was interrupted again. The rest of the crew emerged from their rooms, all with a similar look of anxiety. They had found it was much too hot to add anymore than a light jacket or a pair of socks to their attire. The fire Quatre had started had been a very bad idea. 

Everyone stared at Duo. Duo stared back. Everyone proceeded to glare at Duo. Duo proceeded to raise an eyebrow and huff.

Hawaiian shirts seemed to be a theme among the men of the group. Duo, Trowa, Milliardo, and Wufei all wore one. They each looked at each other and chuckled a little. It was quite the amusing sight.

They all made themselves more than comfortable when the game finally began. Duo dealt the cards and watched as everyone began to actually use a good portion of their brains. Quite an interesting sight to say the least. Relena stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth and furrowed her brow to the point she started to look like a Neanderthal in heat, Heero got his 'Perfect Solider' mask out and began to stare into the soul of his cards, Noin rose a brow and huffed, and Quatre giggled relentlessly. He never was the best at keeping a poker face. The rest of the group looked like seasoned pros. Zechs' eyes were glassed over as he flipped them from card to card, Duo chewed on his bottom lip while rearranging his hand, Wufei narrowed his eyes until he looked like he had none, Trowa reverted back to his old self by sticking on that stoic expression, and Treize, like any good politician, kept a small smirk on his lips that didn't reveal anything about his hand. 

"Okay, we'll go clockwise for exchanges." Duo broke the silence. "That means you're first Heero."

"Hm, give me two." Heero spoke while handing over two of his cards. Duo simultaneously pulled the same amount from the deck. 

"Trowa?" Duo questioned while setting down three of his own cards onto the table. Trowa looked up to him with one eye showing. Somehow it still disturbed Duo that he never seemed to see both of Trowa's eyes at once.

"None thank you." Everyone instantly looked over to Trowa with absolute amazement. "What?" 

They all shook their heads and went back to staring at their own cards.

"K, Quatre?" Duo had a bad feeling Quatre would do what he always did: give up four of the five cards. 

"One please, Duo." Duo just about fainted. Quatre must have had a damn good hand if only wanted one card. He obeyed and gave up the top card from the deck. 

The rest of the group took their turns trading in cards. Treize took three, Relena didn't understand the concept of trading in her cards so she refused to give any up, Wufei took two, Noin asked for one, and Milliardo said he didn't need any. Trowa eyed him, but couldn't figure out if he was bluffing or not. Milliardo seemed to be just as good at looking indifferent as Trowa. Finally it was time for the betting stage.

"All right, tables open for bets." Duo announced. 

Everyone antied up before the bets began. Heero started them out low at twenty dollars. Everyone met his bet except Treize; he raised him thirty. Once again everyone met that bet before Trowa upped it by fifteen. Quatre began to look green in the face, but none the less he met the bet. Milliardo raised by fifty dollars this time. Noin, Relena, Duo, and Wufei all folded out. It wasn't the money, obviously, that freaked them out. It was the five left in the game that did. All of them had looks of complete concentration and seriousness. Heero still had his trademark glare, Treize was smirking all the while and Milliardo was as stoic as Trowa. Poor Quatre looked like he had a bad bout of constipation. His brow was furrowed, he was chewing on his lip, and his complexion was changing from a shade of green to a shade of purple. No one had seen the small Arabian this perplexed before. Then again, no one had seen Quatre even stay in the game this long before.

"K, any more bets?" Duo asked like the good dealer he was.

"I bet another fifty." Milliardo spoke.

"See that bet and raise it fifty." Treize replied.

"See that bet and raise it twenty." Heero added in.

"See your bets. Quatre?" Trowa questioned as he looked over to his blonde counterpart. Quatre was suddenly resembling an overripe eggplant.

"No raise." He spat.

"All right, show your cards starting with Heero." Duo spoke as he shuffled what was left of the deck. 

Duo quickly noticed the tinge of red that rose in Heero's cheeks. He came to the conclusion that Heero was hoping to have narrowed the competition down a bit more.

"Hn." Heero put down his hand: two pair, nine high. He had a pair of sixes and a pair of twos, with a nine to top it off. Trowa almost broke his calmed expression as he eyed Heero's cards.

"Ha, beat you." He set down his cards to reveal three pair, ace high. His pair was only fours, but it was still better than Heero's.

"Strip Hee-chan!" Duo just about burst. He was hoping deep down in his heart that Heero would lose. The lyrics from 'Get Naked' popped into his head as a faint memory of a weekend spent at Relena's came flooding back into his head.

"Hn." Heero's vocabulary seemed to be running in reverse. He bent over and removed the only piece of clothing he had added to his attire; a pair of yellow socks. "There."

Duo was giggling to himself as he noticed if Heero lost three more times he would be down to his boxers. Absolutely perfect.

"I can put you to shame Mr. Barton." Treize spoke as he set down his hand of cards. Four of a kind, King high. Trowa looked disgruntled as he took off the green Hawaiian shirt he had put over his white tank top. 

"You're turn to strip Treize." Milliardo smirked. He had a full house. Four fives and a pair of Queens. Treize's once brilliant and cocky smile faded into a stony expression as he removed his black suit jacket. 

"Quatre?" Duo questioned. Quatre's flesh still remained a lovely shade of violet, but his eyes were very alive and excited.

Silence filled the room for a good five minutes before Quatre leapt to his feet with triumph written all over his face.

"AHAHHAHA! I WIN!" He shouted as he flopped down his hand; four of a kind, King high. He had been lucky enough to acquire three aces and a jack. 

Everyone's jaws went agape as they looked at his cards. It was a new event in history that Quatre had actually played the game for a full round, let alone won it. 

Milliardo looked absolutely insulted. He mumbled a few things before he took off his orange/pink Hawaiian shirt. He'd be naked in four rounds easy if he wasn't careful.

The game continued on for almost two hours before it came to an end. Snacks had vanished, soda had been drained from the bottles, and people were giddier than ever. The room looked like someone's luggage had exploded. There were shirts, pants, socks, and various other items strewn about the floor and furniture. Duo sat with a pair of black silk boxers on, Heero was in a pair of yellow boxers with frogs on them, Wufei had on his usual white pants, Relena was fully clothed since every round she folded, Noin was down to her bra and a pair of Milliardo's boxers, Trowa was in a pair of socks with a pillow over his lap, Quatre was only missing his fleece jacket, Milliardo sat in his khaki shorts, and poor Treize was, well.. butt naked. His bluffing had been the death of him. Quatre wouldn't give up the entire game and he always ended up beating Treize. From the point Treize removed his boxers, Wufei's nose had been continually bleeding. Poor thing looked just about dead from lose of blood.

"All right! Since Treize is as naked as the day he was born and Quatre is even richer than he started out to be, lets move onto our next game!" Duo beamed as he threw his arm over Heero's bare shoulder. 

Once again everyone stared at Duo. Duo stared back. Everyone proceeded to glare at Duo. Duo proceeded to smirk.

"You know you want to.." He sounded sultry as he said it, sitting there in his boxers.

The room was filled with Heero clones again. 'Hn' came from all directions as people stood to put their clothes back on. Treize was the first to stand with absolutely no shame. Wufei's eyes grew wide as he stared at the man in front of him. All of a sudden everyone heard a loud 'INJUSTICE!' as Wufei took off for the top deck. Many brows were raised. 

"Hey now! What do you think you guys are doin?" Duo questioned as he stared at the notably naked Treize. Dorothy images flooded his mind, but he held them off with images of Heero naked and washing Deathscythe. Duo really did have issues sometimes.

"Uh, putting our clothes back on?" Noin answered. She had a horrible feeling Duo wasn't going to let them.

"No way! You have to stay the way you are until we go to bed. Well, except Treize and Trowa. You guys can find your boxers.. please." Duo blinked as he looked at Trowa who was still holding one of the couch pillows over his lower half. A whimper could be heard behind him from Quatre. Duo could have sworn soda made Quatre as drunk as alcohol would make anyone else. Trowa just smirked and bent over to grab his boxers from below the table. Another whimper resounded through the room.

Much eyebrow raising and grimacing ensued from the rest of the party members.

Just as Treize pulled his boxers back on, Wufei came to the last step. His face was now a lovely shade of red. Clearing his throat he walked back into the parlor and took his place on one of the over stuffed chairs. No one bothered to ask what had happened. It wasn't that out of place for Wufei to randomly freak out, especially when it came to other naked men, being he was the only straight pilot of the bunch. Or so they thought.

Treize's lips curved up into a devilish smile as he eyed the now blushing Chinese pilot. He had hoped to produce some sort of reaction out of him, one involving blood rushing to certain body parts, but he was disappointed that most of the plasma had made a mad dash for his face instead of other areas. Still, it was quite flattering.

"So, uh Duo.. what exactly are we playing?" Relena asked. She wanted to know exactly what was going to be happening before she decided to play.

"Well, I've devised a game that is a mixture of a few." He answered. "We're going to play Drunk Mans Truth or Dare!" 

Just about everyone fell over anime style. They knew damn well that mixing alcohol with Truth or Dare was a very dangerous thing to do. But none the less they all had faith in Duo that it would turn out to be fun. And hopefully it would make Spin the Bottle more entertaining than usual. Boy were they in for an interesting night.

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Ha, going to leave the Drunken game for its own chapter. I'll be putting up a few more chapters next week when I get back from vacation. Review's are my best friend ^_^ ::hint hint, nudge nudge:: 


	7. Ding Dong the Witch is Drunk

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Warning: Drunkenness, stupidity, silliness, yaoi, so on and so forth. By now you should be well aware what's involved ^_^

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Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing or the characters. 

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Plead: Reviews! 

-Kate

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Chapter Seven ; Ding Dong the Witch is... Drunk

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Like usual, everyone stared at Duo for a good twenty minutes. They were frantically trying to absorb how dangerous this game could be if they were to participate. The only occupants of the room that didn't seem at all bothered by the fact they could end up with a good case of amnesia and odd messages scrolled on random body parts were Treize and Heero. Heero was used to what happened during these charades and actually found them interesting, where as Treize was just blissfully ignorant. It also helped that Treize was scheming up a sick little plan that he was hoping to put into motion once the room became inebriated. He truly was the perfect politician. 

"So, how _exactly_ do we play this game Duo?" As always, Milliardo was the one to ask the good questions.

"Well, it's simple really. It's just a twist on the normal truth or dare and that game where you roll dice that tell you what to do. But instead of dice telling you to kiss, lick, grope or whatever a body part, they tell you to drink a certain amount of a certain type of alcohol." Duo stated.

"Uh, how does that have anything to do with Truth or Dare?" Trowa questioned.

"Hold your horses, I'm getting there!" Duo huffed while glaring at the rest of the group. "The Truth or Dare part determines how many times you roll the dice. If you take a truth you have to roll the dice before and after the question. If you take a dare, you only have to roll the dice after." 

Everyone looked to each other with a raised brow. The great Shinigami had a very warped mind. No sane person could have thought up such a strange game. None the less everyone started to murmur between each other about how much fun it might turn out to be.

"So, are we going to do it or not?" Duo asked the babbling mass.

"Sure. Why the hell not?" Quatre chirped. 

Everyone stared at Quatre. Quatre stared back. Everyone began to sweat drop. Quatre smiled brightly.

"Can't always be a prude now can I?" The blonde Arabian smiled. He looked as triumphant as ever. Trowa looked over at him with a raised brow before patting his shoulder.

"I'd have to vouch for him on that one guys." Trowa beamed like a proud father. That may not exactly be the best way to put it. At all.

Once again everyone was given a quick task to do to prepare for the game. The kitchenette table was moved back into the kitchen, the coffee table was kept against the TV for safety, the fire screen was put over the fire to make sure no one fell into it, and everyone grabbed all of the bottles of alcohol that occupied the bar. Many shot glasses were brought in as well. 

"So Duo, where did you find a wonderful pair of dice that just happen to correspond with the booze Relena has on board?" Milliardo questioned. He's just too damn logical for his own good.

"I'm going to make them." Duo responded.

"Out of what?" Milliardo asked again.

"You're hide if you don't quit asking me questions!" Duo was beginning to wonder how fast he could get Zechs drunk so he'd turn into a dumb blonde and stop asking so many questions.

Milliardo huffed while settling himself onto the couch. The room had somehow been rearranged by Heero and Treize while everyone else went after the liquor. They had decided it would be more comfortable for everyone if they each had somewhere to sit besides hard metal chairs or the marble floor. The room was set up so that the love seat and two huge chairs were positioned in front of the couch. There was a sneaking suspicion that Treize had given himself a hernia in the process. That or he had contracted Quatre's 'constipation' from the poker game. No one could tell for sure.

Duo had ran off to where ever he had found the poker chips previously. He returned with construction paper, a sharpie marker, and some scissors. The sight of scissors in Duo's hands caused the room to shudder in fear. There was much praying throughout the room that he would get rid of the dangerous tool before the game began. Scissors and alcohol do not make a good couple. Much like Relena and well.. anyone.

Once he cut up the paper and somehow formed them into very large, and oddly shaped, dice he chucked them at Milliardo's head.

"There! Now all we have to do is pick six different kinds of liquor and write them on the die. Then write six numbers on the other one." Duo sniffed the marker. 

Everyone.. well.. stared.

"What?" Duo questioned with a look of innocence as he sniffed it again. Nonchalantly of course.

No one said a damn thing and went about their business getting comfortable in the new seating area. On the couch was Wufei, Heero, Duo, Noin, and Milliardo. On the love seat sat Trowa and Quatre. Treize took one of the over stuffed chairs while Relena took the other (1).

Zechs proceeded to pick out the six most vicious beverages he could find. He also proceeded to wonder why there was so much alcohol on his sisters yacht. She truly was a strange person. Wild Turkey, Vodka, Tequila, Bicardi, Whiskey, and an unlabeled bottle that smelled strangely like turpentine were his choices. Zechs figured the unlabeled bottle was Gin and made no further comment on the matter. He wrote down each type of booze on one die. He chucked the other one back at Duo to write down the numbers. It bounced off Duo's head before landing in his lap. There he picked it up and began to write on it. Unlike any normal person would, he didn't write the numbers one through six. Not like Duo was all that normal anyway. He wrote down a strange variety of numbers; Two, Four, Three, Six, Seven, and One. Trowa figured he must have sniffed the sharpie marker a little too long.

"All right. Each number represents how many shots of something you have to take." Duo's intelligence was suffering at this point. He normally was smart, but tonight he seemed to be swaying the other direction. Maybe Relena cooties were rubbing off on him. "Oh, and if you chicken out on a truth or a dare you HAVE to roll the dice an extra time."

"This is going to prove more interesting than I thought." Treize commented. 

Treize was presently sitting with one leg over the arm of his chair while the other hung off the edge. He was quite provocative from Wufei's angel. If he had any blood left in his body Wufei would have had a bloody nose the size of Niagara falls by now. In an attempt to avert his eyes from Treize, he made the mistake of moving his gaze towards the love seat. There he saw Trowa practically sucking Quatre's face off. Sometimes he wished he would just randomly go blind. Especially when in the presence of his horny friends. 

"Who's going first?" Noin asked. She had been tired and therefore silent most of the night, but she was now getting a second wind. Especially since Milliardo was still only in his boxers. The entire room looked like they had just taken part in some strange form of an orgy. Most intriguing. 

"We'll start with Relena." Duo said with a nasty smile. That meant Relena **had** to participate in the game.

"Crap. Fine. Heero?" Of course she asked Heero first. Hell hadn't frozen over yet.

"Hn?" He responded. A tinge of fear crept up his spine as he looked to the woman staring intently at him from across the room. He swore Relena looked like an escaped mental patient when ever she eyed him.

Everyone stared at Relena with wide eyes.

"Truth or Dare?" She squeaked. She was hoping with all of her little self that he'd say dare.

All of their eyes simultaneously moved to eye Heero.

"Ah.. shit. Truth." He didn't even want to think what Relena would do to him if he said dare.

"You gotta roll twice now." Duo pointed out. Obviously Heero knew this since he was already reaching for the dice. 

He rolled a 3 and Bicardi.

"Here goes nothing." Heero poured three shot glasses, since there were about twenty on the table anyway, and proceeded to drink. The warmth of the liquid down his throat made him almost groan with pleasure. It somehow reminded him of his favorite pastime with Duo. *ahem* 

Everyone's eyes were back on Relena.

"You poop. All right, have you ever had sex with an inanimate object?" Relena asked in a matter of fact tone.

The entire room spazzed out momentarily. What the hell kind of question was THAT? She wasn't even drunk yet.

Zechs suddenly wished had no relation to this strange, strange little girl.

"Uh, no." Heero was hoping for a better question than the one she produced.

Before anyone could say anything, he grabbed for the dice. At this point he was hoping to get drunk quickly, just so Relena would fade away into the wonderful world of inebriation.

He rolled a 1 and 'unlabeled bottle'. His eyebrow rose as he poured the corrosive smelling alcohol into his glass.

"Eh, if this kills me Zechs, I'll haunt you." Heero murmured before downing the syrupy liquid. "Ah, god!"

Milliardo's eyes just about bugged out of his head as he watched Heero's face practically melt into itself. _'Yep, definitely Gin.'_

All was well in the world of Zechsy land.

"Okay, my turn. Milliardo." He was going to exact his revenge for Zechs picking such an awful drink.

"Dare." Zechs was being brave in a strange way. He would rather take the dare then end up having a double chance of having to drink that awful Gin.

"I dare you to strip naked and sit on Noin's lap for the rest of the game." Heero was just as warped as Duo it seemed. What a perfect couple.

"Oh, crap." Milliardo could practically feel Noin's eyes light up as Heero spoke. 

He didn't really feel like exposing himself to the world, but the thought of having to roll the dice twice scared the shit out of him. Needless to say Zechs was soon bare assed and perched on his lovers lap. Noin was in absolute Heaven.

"Duo." Milliardo sat precariously with one leg up to try and block the view of the people in front of him. He wasn't too worried about Treize, it was Quatre who scared him. The Arabian's eyes were like glass as he looked Milliardo up and down. What made it worse was that Trowa didn't seem to mind. He looked quite happy himself. _'Sometimes I wish I looked like Chewbacca... then no one would do this to me._'

"Dare." Duo was secretly scheming to stay sober so he could watch, and remember, all that would go on. 

"I dare you to drink an entire glass of that unlabeled shit." Zechs could be down right mean when he wanted to be. "And I mean a normal wine glass, not a shot glass." 

All right, he wasn't just down right mean. He was down right morbid. 

Never the less Duo jumped up to grab a wine glass from the bar. When he returned he poured the liquid quickly. He slammed it down before he could smell it. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he began to cough. It felt like a brick had gotten lodged in between his ears. Always an interesting sensation.

"Gah! That shit shouldn't be called Gin. It should be called Brick in the Face!" Duo commented. No one seemed to understand the humor in his statement.

Much staring and uncomfortable silence ensued.

"OoOoOO, burny." Duo blinked a few times before rubbing his bare stomach. "Relena." He had always dreamed of getting Relena drunk. The day had just arrived.

"Truth." She always was a chicken. She didn't seem to understand that if she took Truth she was more than likely going to end up drunk quicker than the rest of the bunch. Logic seemed to not be a genetic trait in the Peacecraft family.

"Pussy." He wasn't exactly the nicest person in the world. "Have you ever had fantasies about other women?" He also seemed to be the biggest pervert in the group. Well, at least most obvious one. 

"Yes.." Relena was turning a lovely shade of red as she eyed Noin. Noin just rose a brow and hoped to god she was only being looked at because she was the only other female in the room.

"Roll biatch." Duo slurred. The Gin was starting to go to his head already. He was beginning to think he should have focused more on the food on his plate than Heero in his hand at dinner. Food was the perfect counter weight for booze. Damn his hormones.

Even though Relena was somewhat insulted with the two lovely names Duo had used thus far with her, she rolled the dice with no comment.

The first roll yielded her a 6 and Tequila.

Everyone proceeded to chuckle as she chugged down six shot glasses. It was such an amazing sight to see Relena actually drink. Especially that much at once. Her face just about popped when she swallowed the last bit. Duo had a sneaking suspicion she might possibly be a light weight. 

"Definitely burny!" She gasped as she went to roll again.

Her second roll yielded her a 1 and Wild Turkey. She knew that was Milliardo's favorite drink (2). She also knew it got him to be very friendly when he had a little too much. Hence the nakedness he experienced in Wufei's car.

Once again she slugged back the liquid poison. Her eyes were instantly glazed over. She was obviously a light weight. 

If there ever was a company to make a drink that made you instantly drunk, Relena should have been their spokes woman.

"DING DONG THE WITCH IS..... DRUNK!!"

__

'Maybe light weight is an understatement?' 

*****************************

K, much more of this lovely game and the other one are coming when I come back. Thought I should leave you with a little fun for the weekend ^_^

Clockwise from couch: Wufei, Heero, Duo, Noin, Milliardo, Relena, Treize, Quatre and Trowa. This is becoming a trend for me lol You know that absolutely gorgeous pic of Zechs with no shirt on and a bottle of Wild Turkey next to him? That's what I'm referring too. ::Dies of massive blood loss to the brain:: Sucks when anime characters are sexier than most real life guys. 


End file.
